LOVE AND OTHER STUFF

Suffering from loneliness
the Ocean stole my skin.
So, scraping sand out of my eyes:
I’m going to push you away tonight
But it’ll be in a wave,
I’ll be pulling you back
In the same breath;
Flushed lips on cold bones
Bloom flesh.

My flesh is everywhere
Collapsed into something
You could drown in.
I don’t want to choke you;
fill your throat with my lips,
But I do want to kiss your lungs;
Lock our bones in an embrace
That melts our tongues.
So I can’t use language
To trick you into hurting me.

Because I keep trying to abort
My happy.
This swelling in my stomach,
This ache in my heart.
I care too much. I’d birth
The whole Earth again
With one smile.
I’d break my whole face
And every promise I made
To myself: don’t love, don’t
love, don’t.

Does it hurt enough?
The scales weigh too much.
I still taste blood in my breath.
I don’t want to rip through life.
I’d flay myself again
To feed starving children my skin.
But all I have is ink.

I’m counting my reasons for living
By the notches on your spine.
You can rap your body
In the warm flesh of a lie
Because my nails have been trained to
Rip scores down soft
Compramise.
I will find the naked bones
Behind that smile.
You see, I’ve been expecting
A struggle.
Skin tough and unforgiving,
Not so ready to wince pink.

I’ve spent my whole life
Splitting from pretty,
Like unwanted skin.
Dragging myself to stand with
Woman legs
Folded like
Their favourite pages in the bible.
I thought it would be a fight,
Loving, I thought it would be so bright
It burnt.
I thought it would take more than a smile,
A word to get me back down on my knees.

I’d be down,  breathlessly praying to you,
If I thought love wasn’t the holiest prayer,
And Lucifer’s honesty
The Godliest body.

It’s your flaws:
The skin between your toes,
The bones in your nose,
The mole that hangs just above your lips.
That reminds me Heaven is just
A drop.
Love is that belly-flop
When you start to fall.
Happiness is the split second
The fall feels like flight.

For those nights when
We splatter to the ground.
Let’s hold our bruises like halos,
The blood from the apples scar
On the roof of our mouths:
We’ll slot back each others bones.
Re-assembe our bodies around
Newborn hopes.
And climb back up.
Trees
Pleading to the sky
The way veins plead our
Shivering hearts for blood.
Splinters and scraped knees,
Soil on our cheeks and grass on our breath.
When we get back up there,
To start again:
God will be pleading us
For forgivness

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